Archive for the ‘Daily Life’ Category

Realization and loss

Saturday, March 8th, 2014

I’ve been thinking for a while about something that has been bothering me. Finally I decide to write it down and share at least in general terms here with you all. :)

A few months ago around my birthday I realized that I hadn’t heard from a good friend of mine for a few months. We usually don’t go that long without speaking. In a month we speak almost weekly sometimes just a quick call to say hello and how are you and I’m thinking of you. It was during the summer and I had my family visiting so I got busy and hadn’t know I hadn’t spoken with them in a while. It wasn’t until my birthday and my friend didn’t call that I thought something might be wrong but I dismissed it. Some years my friend would not call on my birthday but call a few days later and I would tease her about forgetting and we would laugh about it. :) After not hearing from her I thought that was the reason then when more time passed and nothing I really got worried. That is when I reached out and tried to contact her. All my forms of communication with her netted nothing. You see although I had her email we usually spoke on the phone (work, cell and home) but nothing I called or including email got a reply. Then finally I knew she had a facebook page and went there. We never communicated via facebook since I enjoy the voice to voice or face to face communication with my friends when I can. It was on her facebook I saw that she passed away. Months earlier and I had not know. I was wreaked and gutted that I didn’t know that my close friend was gone and had to learn it from her facebook page. I knew her family and they knew me but seems like no one knew how to get in touch with me and assumed I would be on her facebook which I wasn’t. The other thing that brought me to my knees and wailing was my friend lived in another state and they brought her home close to New York to bury her but since I didn’t know I didn’t get to pay my last respects. I was so devastated by the loss then missing that last rite for her. My friend I loved and shared so much with. We’ve know each for over 15 years and met at work. Then we actually became close friends outside the job and clicked on a level that is so rare. (I only have a few friends like that) We still stayed friends through so many changes in our lives like job changes and her moving to a new state. Through the good, bad, ugly and my almost dying and she was there. She came to see me whenever she came to NY and I kept planning to go see her. in Texas but didn’t get a chance too. I planned to take her where I was born—St. Thomas—to show her the beauty of where I grew up. I planned to take her to RT Convention with me along with another friend of mine then have these two friends I care about so deeply meet. We planned to take some trips together to just have fun. Now I won’t get to do any of that and I’m saddened and angry at myself for not getting too.

Although it has been months since I learned this I have so many moments come up when I experienced or was doing something and I would think I need to call her then realize I can’t she is gone. GONE. Her loss has made me evaluate my friendships and that is where my realization has come in. For a while I have been cutting or changing my relationships with people I call friends. I realized although I had there were still a few who were not true friends and it saddened me. So I’m doing things about it getting those who take, take and say hurtful things without even knowing or caring they do.

This post has come up because yesterday I had one of those so called friends that I trust and thought better of who did as I mentioned above. This lead me to thinking of the last long while and little things that they have done. This made me realize I needed to change and step back from that person. Which I as of yesterday will do. They probably won’t notice or if they do care but I know for me it is necessary.

As for my friends who are true I plan to keep them close and cherish them. Friendships is precious and should bring joy to you not negativity. I’m going to RT Convention this year with one of my best friends. She is my confidant and one of those who are true. We have that rare connection that I get with those friends I call true friends. When we go we have a great ole time. I also get to see other friends who I only see rarely but talk to via email and other ways. This year when I am at RT Convention I will have fun but be thinking of my friend who I loss and that she isn’t there with me. I plan to have a drink in her honor and maybe shed a tear or two but I know she will be there in spirit having a great ole time with us.

After writing this I now feel so much better. I needed to write what I was thinking out. And I thank you for listening. :)

Happy 2014!

Wednesday, January 1st, 2014

Happy 2014! Here’s to a safe, a little bit naughty and most importantly a fun filled year.

As usual, I’m feeling lots of anticipation for 2014. Very excited about the opportunities that are coming.

This year I am reaffirming my one main goal from which all the others flow out. The main goal:

Write.

Get ready for a sizzling year. (grin) With loads of fun and books to read!

What are your goals for 2014?

Journey completed….

Sunday, December 29th, 2013

Almost two years ago, I mentioned vaguely that I was working on something that would take a while to complete. I didn’t go into details then because well I was unsure if I could actually do it. I’m now proud to say it is done and I kicked ass. In 2012, I decided to return to school to get my Master degree. Going back to school after so many years I had to learn to be a student again. :) The journey for my degree was fun, challenging and invigorating. The fun was learning new things since I love to learn. The challenge was getting back into the groove of being a student and juggling all the other things I had to do. Like my writing and other real life obligations. But I did it and pushed on to my goal. The invigorating was going after my goal and each step made me more determined and joyful when I completed it.

The day before Christmas, I finished my last class in my Master program and I am now proud to say that I achieved what I set out to do almost two years ago. Get my Master degree. It was a wonderful Christmas present to myself and a great start to the upcoming new year. After I did the last paper, I called my big sister and we cried, laughed and celebrated my being done. Then I called Aliyah who also knew about my working toward my degree and she was there throughout giving me some swift kicks when I was being doubting. *hugs* Aliyah thanks for being there. Then I crashed.

I was so tired after almost two years of so many things I was doing. I was also a little sad. My reasons are the last time I made my educational journey my mom was by my side when I finished. She was the first call I made once I knew I was done. This time with her not here on earth anymore I was at a lost and sad that she wasn’t here to share this journey with me. But…then I realized she was here spiritually with me and was there cheering me on. She was the one who lifted me up when I doubted if I could do this, the one who helped me push the tiredness away to get what I needed to do done, and the one who is always in my corner. These thoughts made me pick myself up and have a talk with my mom. I did it mentally, out loud and every way I could think of. It made me feel better and I’m now able to share with you all.

I’M DONE! I completed my Master program and have my degree (waiting to get the actually degree in my hands but I am done with the work). I’m very excited and proud. The year is ending and starting on a high note as this one journey I started almost two year is completed. I’m already looking forward to more journeys. :)

Happy Thanksgiving 2013!

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

tcthanksgiving1.jpg Happy Thanksgiving! Wishing everyone who celebrates it lots of fun, eats and moments to remember! For those who don’t celebrate it – I hope you have a wonderful Thursday.

Enjoy time with your friends and family!!

Busy Saturday….

Saturday, August 10th, 2013

Whew it’s been a hectic and busy day. Been running around with family to do some errands and also having some fun. I love spending time with my family. :) We’ve been getting into mischief and just having a great ole time.

Their visit seems to be going by so fast. They will be leaving soon. :(

But until then I’m going to enjoy the time they are here.

How is your Saturday going?

Busy, busy summer….

Sunday, August 4th, 2013

This summer has been so busy. I have family visiting and have been taking them lots of places. It’s been fun but hectic time. I love summer and the time I get to spend having fun in the sun. Summer is the time I love to explore my neighborhood and find places I haven’t see before. I’ve been taking my visiting family along with me when I do.

How is your summer?

Family Fun…

Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

I’m loving July! It’s been a hot and humid summer but I’m still enjoying it. My big sister and nephew are here for their yearly visit. We are having a blast doing so many things. We’ve been having a fun filled summer of family, laughs and mischief. LOL.

Some of the highlights of what we have been up too.

My big sister is an avid reader like I am and we’ve been reading then discussing our thoughts on the books we have read. It has been fun doing it in person. :) My nephew just watches us when we are laughing like loons and shakes his head. LOL.

We’ve been having movie nights at home and we each get to pick a movie. My nephew and I ganged up on my big sister and picked all action. LOL.

Also been going to see all the great summer movies that have come out in the theaters then going out for a meal after. Loads of laugh and good food. :)

And there has been the cooking at home. We both love to cook and have been having fun cooking. I’m also the baker in the family (my big sister isn’t into baking as much as I am). I’ve been making some of my favorite recipes and trying out some new ones.

Well that is it for now about our family fun.

Errands and excitment…

Tuesday, June 25th, 2013

Happy Tuesday!

It’s humid and hot. *whew* But I have to head on out to get some errands done. My big sister and nephew will be here in a few days. Yay! I’m so excited! Summer is going to be loads of fun.

We’ll I am off to do my errands. Will be out all day! Also have a lots to do for the next few days so won’t be in home much. But I’ve got my MP3 player and will be grooving to my music as I do my errands.

How is everyone doing today?!

TGIF!

Friday, June 21st, 2013

TGIF!

I was up early so I could get my word count done. And I’m done for the day. Yay! I have a busy next few days planned getting some errands done. Getting some last minutes things done to prepare for my big sis and her family yearly trip to come see me. This year it’ll be only my big sister and nephew. My brother in law isn’t coming. :( I’ll missing seeing him. I can’t wait to see my sis and nephew. When my big sister and nephew get together there is a lot of fun we get into. I’ve already plotting…um…planned the wicked…um… nice things we will do. Who am I kidding there will definitely be mayhem and mischief. ROFLMAO.

Chillin’, DVR, movies and reading…

Saturday, May 11th, 2013

Chillin’ and watching shows I have in my DVR. A few of them are Warehouse 13, Golden Boy, Scandal, Elementary, NCIS, Chicago Fire, Criminal Minds, and Blue Bloods. Lots of shows to watch and will take me the weekend to watch them all. Also plan to watch some movies. Then will finish my day with reading a book. Have lots of books in my e-reader. I’m way behind in reading. How is your Saturday? Hope you all have a relaxing and fun Saturday.